The Influential Nonprofit: Episode 114: Why Aren't You Getting The Second Gift?
A lot of times we stumble between the first gift and the second gift because we're not paying attention to what people really want.
Ask for what you want. Speak your truth. Advocate for your own needs. We are constantly training people how to treat us whether we are conscious of it or not. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you want, whoever it is that you’re asking it from.
If you respond to feedback by deflecting, dismissing, and denying, you won’t get anywhere. You don’t have to agree with what people are saying, all you’ve got to do is make them feel seen and heard. People won’t feel valued, seen and heard if they are met with deflection, dismissal, and denial.
Part of relationship building is seeing people for who they are and not who you want them to be. You have to let go and be willing to receive a “no” from people. Likewise, you’ve got to also allow yourself to say no when necessary or when something is not aligned with your values and ideals.
it's okay for you to ask for what you want. It's okay to set boundaries on how you were and how you show up best, even with board members, even with donors, because it is a relationship.
Instead of deflecting, dismissing, denying that feedback, you say, ‘tell me more about that.
They're not saying ‘no’ to you. They're saying ‘This isn't aligned. This isn't in line with my highest values and ideals. It just isn't for me.
ASK FOR AND RECEIVE ALL YOU WANT NEED AND DESERVE WITHOUT FEELING REJECTED, INEFFECTIVE, OR PUSHY.
Learn to manage your mindset, lead yourself and others more effectively and have the meaningful conversations that drive your most important work.